Boys Locker Room: High Time We Introspect

The entire #boyslockerroom incident leaves you agitated yet numb and lost for words. Nope this isn't cool. Objectifying women and overstepping a women's modesty isn't ok. There are numerous occassions when we are stared at, made remarks on but try to ignore intendending, "Not to create a scene." But, today I realised the extent how all those so called "cool talks" and "little things" in laying foundations to a larger mindset where men feel entitled to a woman's body.

I couldn't help but remember a recent incident where I had failed to take a stand for a fellow woman in one of our WhatsApp group chats. Though the insident was a lot more smaller in magnitude where things were eventually explained and understood, today reminded me of several other occassions where I had personally seen a woman's modesty and safety being taken for granted, objectification of female body considered to be ok, objections to such comments hushed or harrasment victims silenced because apparently "Kuch hua to nahin na". 

Today as I read all those those tweets, it just made me feel numb where I was lost for the words. References, screenshots of conversations and tweets sharing personal experiences were horrifying and disgusting. For instance, a boy without any hesitation shares, they have gang-raped a minor as if it is no big deal with absolutely no feeling of shame, remorse or guilt. Offcourse, in case the culprits is arrested, his crimes are proven in the court he might show some of those for some relaxation in punishment on the advise of his lawyer.

But, more so, its not just about those few boys. As many have pointed out, somewhere we all know it isn't the first such group nor is it the last. But, what this case does point out is how we need to change the way men are largely brought up with this toxic mindset of patriarchy and sense of entitlement. We still have a long way before we can claim that our society really understands the meaning of consent and respects it. A women's NO isn't a yes. Only a loud and clear yes is a yes.

Nd here, by no means do I imply it applies to all men, but all I am trying to say there needs to be an end to this mindset and psychology and this culture that nurtures sexual abuse and harassment.

Furthermore, as somebody had pointed it out "Men can be victims of sexual harassment and online abuse too" irrespective of gender, harassment and abuse are unacceptable and are an equally important matters of worry and concern. It isn't a battle of the sexes but our fight for a safer and an equal society.

Moreover, as yet another have noted, many of these victims may now face questions on their dresses, timings, etc. warnings not to speak up and strict orders to stay home. Thus, what we also need to understand is we really need to stop blaming the victims. When a kid in a diaper can be raped, a young boy on the street is raped, a daughter can be raped within her home by her own father, I doubt if by any chance we can blame clothes, timings or locations for the same. Nor a gender can be a full proof assurance to safety.

By no means should rape, harassment or abuse be normalised, hushed or ignored. These are crimes that ought to be strictly punished but a psychological shift in the mindsets is our first reuirement if we want to bring any real change. Objectification of either men or women isn't cool, consent is crucial and abuse is simply unacceptable.