My Piece for the day

While it is supposed to be depressing, I believe death has been the most inspirational tale to this once 17 year old.  I was 5 when life decided to show, what loss felt like. Yet in my childish beliefs and imaginations, I refused to believe I never will see my hero. To be honest, looking back I hold no real memories. I don't know if it was that psychological phenomenon in action where people learn to block and forget part of their memories subconsciously or it was simply me being ever so forgetful. It took me 8 years of failed prayers and that sight of mom's tears followed by her lines of wisdom. Slowly but steadily, I began my first tale of moving on. I had to teach myself not to respect her a bit more but to see beyond her scoldings and love her for being my mother.  Years passed by, me and Mom went on to become friends but I stayed somewhat incapable and a little less competent when it came to my emotions. It would take me some more failed friendships and a coupl

28/09/2020 आज दादू गुज़र गए, नहीं Dad के Dad नहीं but दादी के one of the siblings. However, most of us have always been much like a big extended family including all her siblings and their families. Although मैं और दादू super close तो नहीं थे, पर वो मेरे परिवार और लाइफ के उन बड़ों में से थे जिन के लिए मेरे दिल में खूब सारी इज्ज़त थी, I mean अब भी है और हमेशा रहेगी। So, अचानक कुछ धक्का सा लगा because सब सही था and we hadn't seen it coming.  "He was a really lively man, one who knew how to stand up for his family and extend his warmth to all of us in his extended family as well. During our hostel days, as we found ourselves at their place sometimes, we would eagerly jump on to get ice creams from his shop upstairs as the first things. I don't remember any dull moments with him when I had seen him upset but I guess it is a gift that I can always remember him for the happiness he spread." I had subconsciously expected that we still had a couple more years to s

I guess even when I was confused, I knew this wasn't exactly what I wanted to do. So, though there is a lot I learnt, I have never really seen it as an year that will define my career and I was constantly on the lookout for a chance that would. There were days, I simply could not see that light outside my tunnel. But, I do think more than anything, it has been a year of personal growth.  Understanding myself better, learning through experience and observations and at times just trying to survive the day. I have hit like real lows, been an asshole, a terrible employee and an even worse friend. But, if I were to calm down, there is also so much that I have learnt and rediscovered the more driven me. I guess it is a little embarrassing to admit but I think my first year as an employee into a job funnily also taught me why people get married in the first place. As a teenager, your perspective on relationships is really different. Mine had long been dictated by those around