Skip to main content

Stop Expecting Them To Understand!

Source - Pixabay

The advice we empathetically present to our friends is often the same ones we learnt too late, at a cost we wish wasn't so huge. As you tell them that not all has been lost and their worth and what they bring to the table is way beyond the biggest of their dreams and worst of their failings they may have known. Yet in your own shoes, besides all the words you throw around to sooth your heart ache, you often feel defeated and lost beyond despair. 

You finally woke up but knowing that it probably is already too late doesn't really help your sleep. Nor does it do much to help you get out of bed as suddenly you begin to wake up with the worst of your fears each day. There is so much you know today; you just wish you had garnered enough will yesterday. But, I guess Bob Marley was right when he said, "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice."  © Source: Quotespedia

Me being me, I didn't come back to my senses untill all my escape options stood exhausted and I finally had to confront the same old fix with not much space to run away. Those paralysing moments would always remain one of my strongest regret but me being me I needed to see an end to it all before I could finally move on. 

Offcourse no excuses can ever bring back those days and looking back, my brains are on their side too as they blame my weak choices over the past six months. But, I guess even when we know we had messed up big time, its constant reminders are the last thing we like to hear and still bring me back to paper and blogs to rant nonetheless. 

But, if there is anything I have leant in the past one year, pity parties and blame games take you nowhere. Sometimes, you gotta just accept your faults, all your mistakes in their entirity and learn to live with the same. Though on the ironic side, I guess life is finally gonna have its way where I finally dare to take a leap of faith or move on with my next best to never look back. 

It literally feels like loving two man and being equally scared of both and funny enough I still don't know which way to go. But, untill the time I remain in a fix, like an annoying child, I am gonna keep bothering you with my tales until my heart either finally find its way or a choice finally takes shape. But, signing off for now. Good Night. Take Care. #Pen'sProdigy #AWritingManiac all the way. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A letter to my happy tear

Sometimes we make things so much bigger in our hearts that it becomes impossible for the events to match our anticipation and even the slightest misdirections to our plans end up grounding them altogether. Exactly an year ago, on October 17, my father-in-law called me and told us that our wedding dates had been fixed. It had been a long-distance courtship but as the luck would have it, we were right there together to celebrate the good news. The next four months were probably the happiest period of my life. Even as I felt lonely without him, I would simply count down our days to the wedding. Soon enough, my joy and excitement became too visible. I don't think I have ever taken care of myself any better. I couldn't wait to get married.  I don't think there was a day I didn't think of him before I ended my day. I simply couldn't wait to be his wife. To his credit, it has all been worth it. Even as we are yet to find our way to a shared roof, Akhil you ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Remember your champions...

Akhil you know I can't go a long time without writing you love letter but am too lazy to visit a post office..so this one is for you... Everytime I am told I am stupid for choosing my passion, I just wanna look at you, remind myself and know we got this and will always find a way... Every time I feel alone or down, seek validation or feel the need to prove myself or my worth...I may take my time but ultimately every ride has taught me how I have my biggest champion at home. Chahe uss din wo kitchen mein bitaye 12 ghante hon ya hours spent on the most basic blog...even if noone else could see, you were the one cheering me on. Even if you were the one taking care of it all, you always ensured I knew we were a team.  At a time, when I almost felt invisible, u were the one who reminded me I mattered. Listened to my rants and then scolded me when u could not see me stay sad anymore. Even if a part of me was torn, you made sure I finally had fun at a wedding.  When I fel...
Post a Comment
Read more

Navigating the tug between love & identity

It is so much easier for the world to see what a man contributes but a woman's struggles often remain her silent bouts.  The standards are literally so low for a man, not being abusive makes them amazing. For women, standards are so high that even standing up for themselves becomes a problem. What a woman does is probably only visible to her partner and mother. Because it is the only place we can safely cry and share our perspective.  Recently we went for a dinner where I was told, in a lighter note, how lucky I was to have my husband. I would never say otherwise. I always thank God for him and noone is more aware of what he brings to the table. But, despite being his biggest champion, it suddenly dawned on me how in the seven months of my marriage I have literally seen everyone say the same thing yet I have never heard anyone say he is probably lucky to have me too.  While he remains my biggest champion and sees through every single night of my struggle, tear and strengt...
Post a Comment
Read more