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Diary Enteries Day1

There had been times I thought I was alone but honestly I don't think I have known the feeling of loneliness the way I feel now. Everybody seems to be superbusy or maybe its just me who don't know what to talk about.

Inevitably conversations get to what I am planning and doing. But, I have no answers. Initially I was a little convinced but now I am not so sure. I want to make it work but am not sure how? There always had been those once in a while kind of failures that were never too big but this time it feels like maybe I have failed me. I am scared what if I fail as a person in my life. Will I even be able to achieve anything in my life is a question that has begun to haunt me. 

At the end of the day, they have tried to do all that they could for me and support me but I am not sure if either of them is too happy with my choice. Though, I have made attempts to justify myself but I know I have let them down and cann't meet their eyes. I haven't been more scared to face them. 

I wonder if after all the hard work of three years, have I spoiled it all in the end? But probably worst thing on my part has been I have been taking out this frustration on everybody else for no reason. 

Everytime I start to feel a little comfortable on being back on the track, it all falls apart. I have realised maybe I had been taking too many things for granted. I am on the verge of proving peole who doubted me to be right. The last few months have felt like a lifetime full of rejections. 

There were so many people who had placed their hopes on me that atleast I will do well but in the end maybe I have failed their expectations. I am not sure if its for the better or worse but I am feeling scared and unsure...(To be continued))

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