When tears replace anger

I never thought for me, a part of getting old would mean forgetting how to be angry and tears replacing the cuss words.

When you feel stuck and there is no solution in sight, the hardest thing to do is to sit with your thoughts. Do it anyways. I never could, even now I can't. My screentime simply skyrockets to 12 hours and I lose interest in every damn thing and keep scrolling until the Sun shows up.

I have broken down fair times in my own room, yet every now and then, breaking down on the stupidest random things is the only bit that I hate about me, yet could never fix. I don't know a single adult who sobs on the tiniest things yet for me it is impossible to control. People say they have anger issues, I think there is something wrong with my tear ducts. I can see a dead body and may not cry and yet crack under the weirdest pressure situations.

Honestly, by now, I have given up. I end up cracking, sobbing and the worst bit is it often happens in the worst times when I am under a deadline and can't spare a few minutes. I really wish there was someone I could share this with but I know it will only be one of those judgemental sights and lectures and I am already hating tomorrow for those embarassing sentences but can't do anything so yeah...

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