You have been one of the biggest roller coaster rides, this currently 21 years old ever took on (at least so far). Even on days, I am consumed by all the negative memories, you remain the confounding reason I met my two Best Friends.
You were the reason, I went on my first international trip as an Exchange Student to Gachon University in South Korea. Even if you eventually ended up adding a year of constant uncertainty and consequently a lot of frustration to this over-thinker, as its intangible cost; it remains one of the most enriching experiences of my life as a young adult.
To be fair, I have often blamed you for more than was your fault, but being a leading “guinea pig” in your journalism experiment wasn’t really my favorite experience either. Yet on days, I may not remember to give you your fair share of credit, much of what I learned about writing, speaking and journalism remains to be your doing.
For any of you who may not know me but find themselves on
this blog page, here is my little description: “I was that annoying front
bencher with never-ending questions, that not so helpful topper of my little
batch and just to complete the picture still sport those studiously familiar
spectacles.”
But, like any other undergraduate student, my college life hosted just as many personal tales as many were the academic and professional accomplishments. It was on your campus, that I fell in love twice only to be miserably heartbroken both times. But even through the many more heartbreaks that your campus saw, were important lessons in self-love, acceptance, and esteem.
Much to my dismay, I could never really change myself to fit
in better. Even after a year of my graduation, I am still that "why so serious" kid who took to studies because she sucks at most other fun things including
music, dance, partying, or sports.
I still write these write-ups filled with my random
unimportant bullshit, miserably fall in love and chase all the wrong people and
send those boring long texts that most can’t read and then end up being one of
the few consistent benefactors of WhatsApp’s infamous “Delete for everyone”
feature.
But, coming back to why this blog post began, my time at Shoolini gave me the confidence to be who I am. It taught me to have the courage to be my true self, have the patience to wait for the right people rather than making attempts at impressing other people.
I hope this one suggests why I can give you those 3 or 4 stars but not a perfect 5-Star rating. But, no matter how far I go, or how utterly disheartening this last string of umbilical cord may feel; irrespective of my acceptance or denial, you will always be an important chapter of my book with both the joy I have lived around your walls and unending moments of embarrassment that still makes me cringe.
While I may have lost any reason to ever be happy about stepping
my foot in your campus, you’ll still be the one that holds numerous memories I
may remember/forget in the coming years and hundreds of personal, professional
and ethical lessons I continue to
nurture and try to live by.
PS –
Writing is therapeutic. Even if it is too boring for anybody
to read, it’s the only way I have known to let it go, heal and express it all
including both my love and distaste; not to forget the many lessons you
commemorate. For whatever they are worth, every heartache brings you closer to your craft as it inspires a new piece.
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