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Preserve your words, soul and tears

Even if I forget the date, I will remember tonight because I don't think I can potentially be the same ever again. Mujhe lgta tha my innate capacity to love is my real gift, pta ni but aj main har gyi. Na chahte hue bhi Aaj fir ek baar apni jagah par sahi hokar bhi sabhi ne mujhse hi aas lgayi ki main jhuk jaaun. Aj shayad main sorry kehne se ya baat krne se chhoti nahin Hui par aj mere andar kuch mar gya. 

Main peechle saat se das dinon se subhay shaam bas iss liye ro Rahi kyunki jinko main shayad apna dost Maan baithi thi wo mujhse baat nahin kr rahe the. Iss office mein pehli baar kisi ko dost mana aur achanak se main hi unki life mein kab invisible ho gyi pta hi ni chla. To roommate me achanak se baat krna band kr dia. Peechle das din se mujhe ye Tak nahin pta ki meri galti kya hai main sirf assume kre Jaa Rahi hun.

Ro ro ke meri literally tabiyat khrab ho gyi hai par aj bhi main hi halwa khila ke logon ko mana Rahi hun. I wish kabhi koi samjhta how tiring it is to be understanding. But, honestly meri na aj pehli baar apne liye ladne ki bhi himmat nahin hai. Kal Tak shayad meri halaaat tight thi but aj sab thik ho ke bhi bas ghutan ho ri hai. Par iss sab se bas itna seekha, apne khyaal apne pass rakho. Galti se khud ko express kr ke wo ap hi ke gale ki haddi ban Jaye to uska kya fayda. I really wish main ye blog kisi ke saath share kr paati, at least kisi ko bta paati how I really feel but shayad ab bahut ho gya, it is high time main apne problems aur feelings ko khud handle krna seekhun. 

Par aj maine ek cheez seekhi, preserve your words, soul and tears. Iss dunia mein sirf aur sirf tumhare maa-baap ko tumhare dukhi hone se faraq padta hai. They suffer to see you in pain to bas khush raho. Have fun meri jaan. Khud pe bahut Sara kaam and we will rock someday. I know self-love isn't my strong suit in the moment but just know that this too will pass. I love you babe. Just smile and have fun. 

15.03.2024

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