Unlearning and relearning

Sometimes, it is all good but you just feel a little tired and overwhelmed when your life has so much to teach. 

Mujh pe mujhse jyada auron ko bharosa tha ki main career mein kuch to kar hi lungi. Main unke bharose pe kitni khari utari ye pta nahin, but mujhe sirf ek baat par gurur tha ki maine life mein dost bahut badia bnayein hain. 

Literally, kabhi koi aisa dost raha hi ni jis ne long term wala dil dukhaya ho. But, kabhi ni lga tha ki life mein kabhi naye sire se dosti krna seekhna padega. That the world actually doesn't revolve around you and no one owes you to think about you ya wo parewah krein how you may feel. 

Aadha time bharosa ni hota tha kyunki purane wale dost bahut badia the and ab bas badia se kaam ni chal pata. Fir finally wapis se dost bnana sikhe to pta chala logon ki parakh sach mein kachi hai, wo to kismat achi thi pehle log badia mile. 

Ek saal se main bade confindence se bolti thi, I don't make friends at work. Aaj Bhai ne bola ki office mein dost ni colleagues hote hain to lga yr ye to galat bhul gyi. 

Eighth class ki grammar tak to thik tha but ye situationships, boundaries, zero expectations, wagarah... ye sab seekhna jyada aukha ho ra hai.

Main bachon ki tarah soti thi aur 25 saal mein aake apne EQ ko bhadhana padega ye samjh aya. Rone se sir dard bhi hota hai, ye finally feel hua. Pehli baar apke masle suljhane koi ni aayega to thak ke mandir jaaake bhagwaan ke aage roke behtar mehsoos kia. But mujhe befaltu ki sympathy ni chahiye bas emotionally draining ho gya tha, iss liye likh dia.

Last time jab mein South Korea gyi thi to Pubby sir ne kaha tha apne roz ke experience ke baare mein likhna since aadhi raat ko jaag kr meri Chik Chik sun pane wala boyfriend dhundhna aur sustain krna is too much mehnat, to socha blog pe likh lun and it weirdly feels nice.

PS - आज की दो शायरी, पहले share करने का मन हुआ फिर लगा ज्यादा self-pity हो रही है, तो बाइज़ात attaching below.

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इकतरफा मोहब्बत की आदत सी थी

पर यारी जो आज कुछ बेबस कर गई

सच पूछो तो इंसानियत से रूह भर गई

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अब दोस्तों को गिले बताते नहीं 

जो मुलाकात तय हो किसी दिन

मुसकुराहट संजो के जाते हैं 

खर्च हो कर घर लौट आते हैं

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 PS - If you are reading this one, we are most likely acquaintances (if not friends). Since most of us are in their 20s ka adulting phase (or even for others), I am sure you might be going through your own things too. 

Kabhi man kre to wo jo pareshaniyan hoti hain na jo bother to kr ri hain par kya kisi ko pareshan krna wali feeling ke saath ati hain. Feel free to actually text me in DM, am always happy to connect and listen or feel free to share about your day or anything else here. 

Ek cheez jiska thoda sa credit main leti hun, kabhi kabhi jab hum vulnerable hoke apna dil kholte hain, even if rarely we also give people the opportunity ki wo dil khol ke baat kr payein.

And with that, signing off for the day, hope you had a good one. Stay well. A warm hug and loads of love. 

나비 🦋

10.03.2024