My Piece for the day

When your life is like a park, open and accessible for all, yet aloof and alone when it really needs company.  ... I am tired of being understanding and lonely, yet I wish I would not have to deal with anyone and could be literally away and alone for a month.  When your life is real good yet you feel miserable and that only makes you feel even more like a moron, when you think you need therapy to stop it from getting worse and a break so your head doesn't burst and then therapy gives you more anxiety....paper and pen are really my favourite solace...but I only like the fact that even if you can't take your own life, can't win your battles in life, it would still come to an end when you die. The worst bit is actually the best bit...Managed to cross the river, patiently awaiting for the ocean. Although I know life is only gonna throw bigger challenges...can already think of quite a few realistic possibilities (I hope I am real ready when those come along).  Have you ever felt

गम में मुस्कुरा पाना ही शायद बड़े होने की पहचान है पर जब घर से बाहर रहना सीखते हैं, घर की जिम्मेदारियां उठाने लगते हैं तो क्यों न खुद को बेहतर बनाने के साथ साथ खुश रहना भी सिखाएं। आप उचित अनुचित पर विवाद कर सकते हैं, पर जब हम नए लोगों से मिलते हैं तो जरूरी नहीं कि वो हमसे प्यार और इज्जत से मिले, हमारी मोहब्बत हर बार मुकम्मल हो, दोस्ती में समझ और लगाव दोतर्फा हो, हमारी काबिलियत और आसुलों के हिसाब से हरजाना पूरा मिले । परंतु इस सब में हम मुस्कुराना भूल जाएं ये शायद हमारे खुद के साथ गलत होगा।  कभी कभी दो दिन रुक के खुद खुद को सांस ले पाने का मौका देना पड़ता है। लोगों से लगाई उम्मीदों को कम करना सीख लेना चाहिए। जो बात होंसले से बाहर जाए तो सामने से दोस्त को अपनी तकलीफ से तंग कर लेना चाहिए। और जो शहर में कोई अपना न हो तो खुद पे मेहनत करना सीख लो। गिरना उठना चला रहेगा पर अपनी मुस्कुराहट संजो के रखना शायद हमारा खुद का जिम्मा है।  PS - अगर आप 1 प्रतिशत भी मेरी तरह हैं, तो यकीन मानिए अनुशासन और कान्हा जी को अपने पास रख के देखिए, दिन अपने आप बेहतर होते चले जायेंगे। जो काम से छुट्टी मुश्किल हो तो

The recent weeks have been better since the bad ones yet it feels like the worst year.  Yaar tujhe pta h tu wo insaan tha jisko agar main bol dun ki chai peene ka time ni h to tu kitne Aram se bol deta tha ki koi na paanch minute mein leke aa jayenge...I guess issi chakkar mein tere saath double chai ki aadat lg gyi par kab mere liye table pe baithne ke liye jagah khatam ho gyi mujhe pta hi ni chla. Jin walks se humari dosti ki shuruaat Hui thi aj uss campus mein mere chlne ke liye shayad jagah Kam ho gyi.  Par wo pehli baar uss canteen ke table pe ayi "unwanted" feeling I guess sadly yaad hai. Tu batayega nahin aur ladai kr ke tamasha bnne  mein mujhe koi interest ni hai.    Wo reason chahe jitna bhi stupid tha but at least uss taraf mere pass Karan to hai idhar to sala mujhe pta hi ni kya hua hai.  Bappa I know ap mera behtar mujhse behtar jante ho but please find a way...even if we can never be friends again, I really wish to know hua kya hai.  When I was experiencing suic

Even if I forget the date, I will remember tonight because I don't think I can potentially be the same ever again. Mujhe lgta tha my innate capacity to love is my real gift, pta ni but aj main har gyi. Na chahte hue bhi Aaj fir ek baar apni jagah par sahi hokar bhi sabhi ne mujhse hi aas lgayi ki main jhuk jaaun. Aj shayad main sorry kehne se ya baat krne se chhoti nahin Hui par aj mere andar kuch mar gya.  Main peechle saat se das dinon se subhay shaam bas iss liye ro Rahi kyunki jinko main shayad apna dost Maan baithi thi wo mujhse baat nahin kr rahe the. Iss office mein pehli baar kisi ko dost mana aur achanak se main hi unki life mein kab invisible ho gyi pta hi ni chla. To roommate me achanak se baat krna band kr dia. Peechle das din se mujhe ye Tak nahin pta ki meri galti kya hai main sirf assume kre Jaa Rahi hun. Ro ro ke meri literally tabiyat khrab ho gyi hai par aj bhi main hi halwa khila ke logon ko mana Rahi hun. I wish kabhi koi samjhta how tiring it is to be understan

Sometimes, it is all good but you just feel a little tired and overwhelmed when your life has so much to teach.  Mujh pe mujhse jyada auron ko bharosa tha ki main career mein kuch to kar hi lungi. Main unke bharose pe kitni khari utari ye pta nahin, but mujhe sirf ek baat par gurur tha ki maine life mein dost bahut badia bnayein hain.  Literally, kabhi koi aisa dost raha hi ni jis ne long term wala dil dukhaya ho. But, kabhi ni lga tha ki life mein kabhi naye sire se dosti krna seekhna padega. That the world actually doesn't revolve around you and no one owes you to think about you ya wo parewah krein how you may feel.  Aadha time bharosa ni hota tha kyunki purane wale dost bahut badia the and ab bas badia se kaam ni chal pata. Fir finally wapis se dost bnana sikhe to pta chala logon ki parakh sach mein kachi hai, wo to kismat achi thi pehle log badia mile.  Ek saal se main bade confindence se bolti thi, I don't make friends at work. Aaj Bhai ne bola ki office mein dost ni coll

Have you ever felt like writing so much that you feel like penning down every single thought you feel? It's almost like there is nothing much important to say, nothing new that you can add to their tale, yet all you wish every now and then is to simply hold a pen and keep writing like there exists no tomorrow, even if your writings make no sense.  It's moments like these that make me doubt the potential possibilities of discipline as pen simply seems to be its own driver in this case. Although for the longest time, it keeps reminding of my creative non-fiction lectures when our Professor would correctly insist how it is meant for our readers and self musings can often just be saved for dear diaries and not bothered with publication. However, these days, after one of my longest deliberate writing breaks, blog weirdly feels like the safest escape.  Even if my capacities hardly count these days and productivity still lingers close over a zero, writing feels like the

Source - Pixabay The advice we empathetically present to our friends is often the same ones we learnt too late, at a cost we wish wasn't so huge. As you tell them that not all has been lost and their worth and what they bring to the table is way beyond the biggest of their dreams and worst of their failings they may have known. Yet in your own shoes, besides all the words you throw around to sooth your heart ache, you often feel defeated and lost beyond despair.  You finally woke up but knowing that it probably is already too late doesn't really help your sleep. Nor does it do much to help you get out of bed as suddenly you begin to wake up with the worst of your fears each day. There is so much you know today; you just wish you had garnered enough will yesterday. But, I guess Bob Marley was right when he said, "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice."  © Source: Quotespedia Me being me, I didn't come back to my senses untill all